Jokes

No one tells jokes anymore...except my dad. I usually roll my eyes, but I liked this one enough to inflict it on you:

A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim
librarian,'Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?'
To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the
top of her glasses and says, 'Fook off, ye'll no bring it back.